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gay parade Pam Spaulding

An Online Magazine in the Reality-Based Community

MacKinlay Kantor
MacKinlay Kantor: Beauty Beast

TITLE : Married White Man Seeks Big Black D*ck

FROM : TerranceDC

DATE : Wed Mar 28, 2007 at 11:27:58 AM EDT

White men 'atoning' for racial-sexual guilt?

The Negro's BRUTE bad-boy image

Race, Racism and the `Force` Fulcrum

white gals with a THANG for black hunks

white guilt has a possible origin

blackening of the white marriage

Romance travellers head south for pleasure

Husbands accede to (or initiate) wife lust for black

Scandalous dictionary on mandingo sex parties

I was out all day yesterday, running a blog training session (turns out I have some decent teaching skills and also enjoy it a lot, so I'm morphing in to a trainer), and haven't had a chance to actually blog yet. But then this came into my mailbox via the LGBTPOC listserv and it's ... well ... interesting to say the least. It's not all that surprising, because this stuff has been going on for a long, long time

Still, apparently it's newsworthy when white guys want big black guys to have sex with their wives, and get so turned on by it that they host a network of "Mandingo" sex parties.


Jeff didn't always like black guys. He was prejudiced -- he admits it. As one of the few white kids at his school in the southeast of Washington, D.C., he fought a lot with black kids and was occasionally beaten up. When he later ran a string of gas stations, he was robbed: A black guy held a gun to his head and pulled the trigger -- but the gun didn't go off.

"Honestly, that experience helped me a lot," he says. "I used to be very conservative. I didn't spend much money. Now I enjoy life. I'm much more open. Especially sexually."

It's a measure of how far he's come that Jeff (not his real name), now 40, is telling me this while we're watching a black guy have sex with his wife, Amber (not her real name), 37, at an interracial orgy. In Jeff's house. On his bed. The man screwing Jeff's wife is Branford (not his real name), a 30-year-old massage therapist who's not holding back -- this isn't lovemaking, this is a proper pounding. Forget Amber -- that's just how Jeff likes it.

The man who arranged tonight's event, Art Hammer (a name he uses solely for Mandingo parties), started the Florida Mandingo group four years ago, just after his divorce. An enterprising 42-year-old black swinger from Tampa Bay, he has since become the go-to guy when it comes to organizing gang bangs and orgies for couples, the vast majority of whom are white?with a fetish for black men. So it was Hammer who sent the Evites for this "pajamas and lingerie" party and secured the attendance of the guests; it was also Hammer who booked the DJ, paid for the finger food, and brought the "courtesy condoms." Amber and Jeff just had to open their home. An advertising-sales guy by day, Hammer has done a bang-up job of marketing the Mandingos among the swinger set. The name Mandingo comes from Mandinka, a West African tribe that, in the antebellum South, was prized and bred for strength and virility. (Not that Hammer necessarily has Mandinka roots; he has no idea. "I'm Art Hammer," he says. "Not Art Haley.") Mandingo is now a byword for black male sexual prowess. When Hammer established the Florida Mandingos, two other (unaffiliated) groups -- the So Cal Mandingos and the NYC Mandingos -- were already up and running. Today new groups keep sprouting -- in Atlanta, Chicago, Oakland -- but Hammer's is the most prominent, the only Mandingo group invited to host a "Chocolate Fantasy Suite" at N'awlins in November, the second-biggest swinger convention in the country.

"Mandingo" is also the name ofa 1970's blaxploitation flick, set in the antebllum south, that pretty much shares the same theme as the parties.

Again, this is new, and I guess it's only news because there are now organized theme parties around it. (Hey, wait a minute. I thought gay people were the only ones who had sex parties, or that we at least inventedit. What gives? Never again do I want to hear anything about gay men and sex parties) The fetishizing of black sexuality -- or, more specifically, black bodies -- goes back as far as the first encounters between African's and Europeans.

The brute stereotype is definitely not new to black men, but in the past it's always had terrible consequences for black men.

The brute caricature portrays Black men as innately savage, animalistic, destructive, and criminal -- deserving punishment, maybe death. This brute is a fiend, a sociopath, an anti-social menace. Black brutes are depicted as hideous, terrifying predators who target helpless victims, especially White women. Charles H. Smith, a writer at the end of the 1890s, claimed, "A bad negro is the most horrible creature upon the earth, the most brutal and merciless." Clifton R. Breckinridge, a contemporary of Smith's, said of the Black race, "when it produces a brute, he is the worst and most insatiate brute that exists in human form."

The "terrible crime" most often mentioned in connection with the Black brute was rape, more specifically, the rape of a White woman. At the beginning of the twentieth century, much of the virulent, anti-Black propaganda that found its way into scientific journals, local newspapers, and best-selling novels focused on the stereotype of the Black rapist. The claim that Black brutes were, in epidemic numbers, raping White women became the public rationalization for the lynching of Blacks.

The lynching of Blacks was relatively common between Reconstruction and World War II. According to Tuskegee Institute data, between the years 1882 and 1951, 4,730 people were lynched in the United States: 3,437 Black and 1,293 White. Many of the White lynching victims were foreigners or belonged to oppressed groups, for example, Mormons, Shakers, and Catholics. By the early 1900s lynching had a decidedly racial character, that is, White mobs lynched Blacks. Almost 90 percent of all the lynchings of Blacks occurred in Southern or border states.

Many of these victims were ritualistically tortured. In 1904, Luther Holbert and his wife were burned to death. They were "tied to trees and while the funeral pyres were being prepared, they were forced to hold out their hands while one finger at a time was chopped off. The fingers were distributed as souvenirs. The ears...were cut off. Holbert was beaten severely, his skull fractured and one of his eyes, knocked out with a stick, hung by a shred from the socket." Members of the mob then speared the victims with a large corkscrew, "the spirals tearing out big pieces of...flesh every time it was withdrawn."

And there are several other telling little anecdotes in the post about the party, including that the Mandingos "have to have at least 8 inches and must have a college degree" (Damn, and here I am without a tape measure!), that the women "resemble Kathy Bates more than they do Kathy Ireland," and that while they Mandingos aren't paid for sex they do pay a $75 annual membership while the rest pay $30.

But the most telling tidbit is this one.

"The fantasy goes both ways," [Art Hammer] explains. "The women get to fuck our guys while their husbands watch, and we get to fuck rich white women.

"The fantasy goes both ways," he explains. "The women get to fuck our guys while their husbands watch, and we get to fuck rich white women, really mutt 'em out. It works! But people in this lifestyle are affluent -- I'm talking judges, CEOs, FBI agents, important people -- so before they invite a bunch of black men into their homes, they want to know they're safe, they're not going to get robbed, and everyone is discreet. So that's what I provide -- a gentleman in the street and a thug in the bedroom."

They want to "know they're safe" but fantasize that they're not, and perhaps project themselves back to the time when Mandingos quietly made their way into the "big house" while the master prowled around the slave quarters, and everyone pretended -- on pain of death, mind you -- that of it was happening. Much in the same way nobody in the piece seems to address the obvious power balance at these parties. (Here's a clue. However empowered anyone else might feel, it belongs to he who owns the gaze. Not in the fucking or being fucked, according to one's fantasies, but in orchestrating and watching it all take place.)

There's one more angle that the post leaves out, probably because they can't quite "go there" and without losing some readers (who are probably teetering on the brink of bi-curiosity). What do the white guys while they're watching? As soon as saw the piece, I thought about this guy whose girlfriend wrote to Dan Savage about his bedroom obsession with black cocks.

19-year-old girl dating a 21-year-old guy. We've been dating for a year and a half, love each other dearly, have a great time together. In bed the other night, my sweet boyfriend let me put a vibrator in his ass. He wanted to do it to me, so I told him (invoking some advice I remember you giving) that he could do it to me after I did it to him.

Everything was fine until a few minutes before he came, when he started (unconsciously?) muttering something about a "big black man" fucking him in the ass.

I wasn't bothered initially--fantasies aren't necessarily actual desires, people say all kinds of weird things during sex, etc. It was only upon further reflection that it started to worry me, because he constantly teases me about wanting a big black man instead of him

(nice, white, Jewish). So what's the deal?

Does the whole "big black man" thing stem from penis envy, or is he projecting fantasies onto me? Is this a part of him I need to worry about? Help, please, I'm flipping out!

Freaked Out Female

As usual, Dan Savage breaks it down for girlfriend.

Clearly some chunk of his sexual fantasies (and, sooner or later, his sexual reality) involves big black men. And why would an otherwise straight guy have fantasies about big black guys?

Since his fantasies are so clearly rooted in cultural and sexual stereotypes about black men, FOF, perhaps those stereotypes tweak, in an erotic way, your boyfriend's own feelings of sexual inadequacy.

But you'll have to check with him about it.

If you don't want him sneaking around your back to realize this fantasy, you're going to have to come to some sort of workable compromise, assuming you're not interested in having, say, a three-way with a big black man at some point down the road. I urge you not to take "I may fantasize about big black men but I would never act on this fantasy..." for an answer, FOF.

If he's yakking about these fantasies at 21, he will be acting on them soon enough.

Or maybe not, if he gets an invite to one of these parties and can convince his girlfriend to go.

(I could say more about this, probably should, and probably will later, but right now I gotta run.) Crossposted from The Republic of T..

Remove Possessiveness & Pathological Jealousy

And loving, caring liaisons can occur openly and naturally

natural and caring

The word intercourse does not necessarily mean only sexual copulation.. It may refer to simple cordiality and human affection.

'Cuckold' has such a negative connotation
White perverts and sickos after all?
by Bob Shepherd

Nature doesn't seem to take such a contemptuous tone for the cuckolds and eunuchs and "third-wheel" males as human society does. In contemporary lore the white wife scorns her pathetic pansy cuckold who has (for all intents and purposes) brought his left-out fate upon himself.

In medieval times, literature shows us cuckold husbands galore -- yet (having earned their steer horns) their heart-wrenching lament often takes the form of bittersweet a tinge with a silver-lining hinted at. Like the honky-tonk counterparts of America's midwest, the cuckold himself seems to find some payoff (as Dr. Phil might say). He cries in his beer with a smile on his face.

Yet the focus of most commentators on interracial attraction somehow overlooks the cuckold's role (complicity). Previous discussions have focused on either the white wife's role (Cleaver said her ultra-femininity spontaneously yearns for the super-masculine Negro.) Others like Nancy Friday and Susan Crain Bakos have emphasized the white woman's infatuation with black men.

William H. Grier & Price M. Hobbs declare a similar verdict from which we conclude that the white wife finds the Negro to be "an intensely exciting sex partner because of his forbiddenness and because of the ease with which she can project onto him her own oedipal fantasies." [p 92]

Still another possible source for the white woman's attraction may be genetic. If Darwin was right that an individual seeks the best survival mechanism for its offspring, there will be a reproductive yearning for a superior mate. Conventionality and respectability (caution) may dominate her rational brain, but at the level of DNA and optimum survival of one's seed, every cell and fibre of the white woman's being will be crying out for a superior mate.

At the level of reproductive desire, what chance does her sub-optimal white husband have?

Besides, we hear now that a blending of races tends to neutralize the respective weaknesses of the non-blended ones. Whites have a higher tendency, we hear, to osteoporosis. Jews tend toward Tay-Sachs. Inter-mingling neutralizes these defects.

Or the focus is on black man, such as Rajen Persaud's book (Why Black Men Love White Women). Cleaver said white woman stands for success, freedom. Malcolm X ventured a guess concerning white man: that in cuckolding himself to Harlem's Negro lovers, the white husband was trying to face his worst sexual fears.

That's why TerranceDC's speculation is so hopeful. He is at least wondering what needs to be wondered.

Why do these white cuckolds reconcile so easily to their wives' fascination with the rival - the black knight in shining armor, the 'tall, dark handsome' stranger? History shows all too much of the horrific effects of angry white males, of oppression and lynching and jealousy gone so far overboard as to wreak havoc on humanity, wreaking the overthrow of moral and spiritual values.

Yet today the other side is in evidence -- a lopsided willingness by contemporary white males to go along with the white woman's jungle fever, the addiction to interracial romance, interracial fantasy, zebra clubs and Mandingo Parties.

Why (it must appear from the outside) are white husbands such eager cuckolds? After all, interracial liaisons are surely as old as the human race. Exogamy, while frowned on by the tribe (whichever one it be) was somehow evaded by the youth of every generation. Our common DNA proves it.

Even in America, we know that there were always interracial affairs, even in times of the harshest prohibition of such affairs -- willing to risk lynchings and fire and castration, their love (or ardor) was so strong.

But why, today, are white men not protesting? I think part of the answer is that the pendulum has begun to swing the other way. The Bible warns (Ecclesiastes 9:1) that a husband overly jealous of his wife actually drives her, in the end, to extramarital adventures. His jealousy itself puts ideas into her head, (and the shame be upon him for his self-inflicted destiny).

White man may be overwhelmed with guilt. He has not only oppressed and exploited non-white peoples, but he has (in effect) enslaved his own wife as well. His selfishness and hedonism have been a torment to his wife, leaving their marriage a stifling sham, a cross she must bear the best she can.

Perhaps white man seeks expiation for the guilt he feels -- the monumental debt weighing upon us from history's crimes against non whites, non-males.

Or, perhaps in his infatuation with conventional respectability and "success" and achievement, he has sold his sexual birthright for superficials. Esau (in Genesis) seemed to prefer the macho image, to the inner reality. He fooled other males, but doesn't the woman know the truth? Eldridge Cleaver thought white woman could spot real prowess and manhood (SOUL) a mile away. It is black man who really (hotly) loves her, and she can't resist.

What if white man, trying to be a real man for his wife, suddenly panics -- knowing in his heart his own inadequacy. In my case, I wonder if there was not a quiet relief that she was distracted by the attention of some (perhaps exotic) real man.

Another possible source of white man's inclination to encourage his own cuckolding might simply be the historical acknowledgment of someone else's current readiness, or ripeness -- and time to shine. John Baptist said, he must increase and I must decrease. Husbands may have caught the infection. No less than the white woman, the white man experiences a spontaneous deference to the black man.

I think there are white men who genuinely conceive that (in the words of the Kipling poem), You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

We know that sometimes the heart has its reason which reason knows not of. There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come. If, after all, there is a kind of cosmic inevitability to the rash of interracial sex going on, maybe it is simply destined so to be. Considering black man's suffering at the hands of America (and the West), simple poetic justice is (like prophecy fulfilled) simple a biblical denoument.

But regardless the mix of these speculative considerations, something is going on.

Please see (if you can locate a copy) the fascinating book by Irvin Turner called "97 Reasons White Women Prefer Black Men" (Publication data: Carlisle Publishing.)
Also see books by authors like Rajen Persaud (Why Black Men Love White Women). Or for that matter, by Todd Wooten (White men can't hump).

My hope is that one day America's Black Men will no longer be seen as
unintelligent, unattractive, undesirable, uncivilized, or plain old worthless.

build bridges

Letters to Penthouse XII (2001)
It just gets hotter
(editor) Watching your wife: readers speak out on a come-soaked controversy.

We've received some correspondence lately concerning letters from husbands who allow their wives to date ....

from F.H., Portland, Oregon. (page 218)
I'm a thirty-nine-year-old male subscriber who collects and re-reads past issues while waiting for latest issue to arrive. One of my favorite topics is wife-watching. I love to read a husband's account of how his wife gets ready for a date, goes out with a stud -- especially a black man -- then returns home to rub her freshly screwed pussy and asshole on her husband's mouth while she describes her night out .... It is so freaking hot .... I also love it when she returns home .... and makes her husband suck the sperm from her holes.

from L.B., Studio City, California. (page 219)
I enjoy the letters from husbands who enjoy their wives' extramarital affairs, either by watching or hearing the juicy details afterwards. I get really excited reading how the wife dresses up, goes out with a black stud, gets royally screwed, then returns home and rubs her freshly fucked, dripping pussy all over her husband's face while she tells him about it.

from D.C., Cape May, New Jersey. (page 220)
My blood just stirs when I read about a guy who encourages his sexy blond wife to dress up then go out on a date with a black stud that she met somewhere then return home to sit on her husband's face and describe the affair to him while he licks her pussy clean.

Interracial is Extra-marital

When white husbands support and encourage

sperm wars effect

White men 'atoning' for racial-sexual guilt?

The Negro's BRUTE bad-boy image

Race, Racism and the `Force` Fulcrum

white gals with a THANG for black hunks

white guilt has a possible origin

blackening of the white marriage

Sex tourists head south for pleasure

Facebook : United against Racism

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Bob Shepherd
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I love black guys

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